my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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