Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
