Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
