Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
