Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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