my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
