you're like a bully in the Christmas story
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
