He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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