After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
