this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
