that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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