i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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