I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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