we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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