Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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