i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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