There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I need a beard to bite.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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