This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
