Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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