Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
