You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
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We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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