Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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