lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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