The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I have fence marks all over my body
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
