Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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