did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
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Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
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BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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