i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
