At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
