this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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