Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
