we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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