Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I met the friendliest cop last night
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
