Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
