Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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