I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
