she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
