Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
we're so committed to being not committed
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize