therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
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woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
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Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize