my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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