i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize