am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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