that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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