if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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