he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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