forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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