Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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