i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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