I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
