There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize