I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
