whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
