dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.