the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
