puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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