i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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