if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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