maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
