I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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